


Someone to You

by cantfuckinbelievethis (orphan_account)



Series: One-shots [16]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Ian's canon misunderstanding of what Mickey goes through, M/M, Songs Mentioned, canon rape mention, clearly haven't posted in a while cos I'm nervous, musician!ian, old skool ian x mickey, sort of fluff?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 18:52:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12282405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/cantfuckinbelievethis
Summary: Ian wants more, but isn't sure how to say it. Mickey wants more, but can't quite do it.





	Someone to You

**Author's Note:**

> This is around seven months later after 3x666. I think it should be easy to figure out how canon diverged in this fic, and yeahhhh. Enjoy! 
> 
> Tumblr: cantfuckinbelievethis

‘We’re not having this fuckin’ conversation again,’ Mickey groaned, getting up out of the bed and rubbing at his eyes.   
  
    Ian immediately stood, walking over to him like a bat out of hell. Determination was clear on his face. ‘No, we fuckin’ are.’   
  
    ‘Gallagher—’   
  
    ‘Ian,’ he sharply corrected before continuing, ‘I just don’t know what the problem is, Mick. Your fuckin’ dad ain’t around to fuck things up anymore — Why can’t you fuckin’ commit to me already? To us?’   
  
    Ian felt his heart sink and bitterness set in as Mickey merely stared at him, gulping before opening his mouth, but saying nothing. Of course. Why did he expect he was anything more to Mickey than a warm mouth? That’s all he ever had been.   
  
    When Mickey’s father had been killed a few months after he forced Mickey to marry Svetlana, Mickey had turned up at his door step and they had figured it out. They had sex and got back together — or so Ian had thought. Turns out Mickey had no intention of them becoming a couple, even told Ian to go ahead and fuck other people. It was driving Ian insane that even with Terry gone, Mickey couldn’t admit that he was gay and that he loved him. Only now it was dawning on Ian that maybe he never did.   
  
    Scoffing at the lack of reaction, Ian shrugged on a shirt and went to head out the door.   
  
    Mickey huffed out, whining a little. ‘Where the fuck are you goin’?’   
  
    That was the only part that had changed that made Ian still believe this was something more than fucking. Now when Ian went to leave during a fight, Mickey got a little desperate and anxious. It was probably from when Ian almost enlisted right after…that day. Lip had stopped him just in time, but Mickey had found out and ever since then he’d been weird whenever Ian went to leave. Usually Ian tried not to leave or make him react that way, but after what he’d just said, Ian needed to get out of there.   
  
    ‘I’ve got a gig at the Alibi in a few hours — got to prepare,’ Ian responded, going to leave.   
  
    ‘Don’t,’ Mickey muttered.   
  
    Ian turned around, eyebrow arched and waiting for a continuation. ‘Don’t what?’   
  
    Clenching his jaw, he was clearly struggling to get the words out. Ian was about to scoff and leave, but Mickey managed to drag out, ‘Leave angry.’   
  
    And damn Mickey Milkovich for making Ian feel bad with his vulnerability that just half-broke and half-melted Ian’s heart. Just from his voice alone, he felt the need to soothe him. This guy of his, even if he wasn’t really his, who’d been through way too much already. Letting go of some of his anger and frustration, he stepped back into the room.   
  
    ‘I’m just…I’m frustrated,’ Ian huffed. ‘You know what I want, but I have no idea what you want. I wish you could just fuckin’ tell me, say it to my face, but I don’t think you know how. I’m not even sure if I’m telling you what I want in the right way. I just…I want you to be able to read my mind and _get it,_ already.’ A random raise of anger flared in him again. ‘Because if you do actually understand what I want, but you’re just fucking around with me anyway when that’s not what you want, you’re just being fuckin’ cruel.’   
  
     _If you know I love you, and you’re just using me, you know how much you’re breaking me._   
  
    With that, he left again, because it was true — he did have somewhere to be. 

* * *

  
It had been seven months since that day, it had been four months since Terry had been killed, and it had been around six and a half months since he started learning the guitar. For some reason, one day during his depression over Mickey, it just hit him: he was going to learn guitar. Why not, right? It certainly got his mind off things.   
  
    He had only been playing around with it one day when Fiona had caught him, and was impressed by how quickly he’d learnt,  but it was kind of a mislead, because he’d only been practising one song to perfect it. After a little of her encouragement, though, he learnt other songs. Lip and Debbie had caught him the next time, when he’d been singing as well. Lip had made fun of him endlessly, but Debbie only wanted to hear more.   
  
    Around the time he and Mickey started again, he was willing to admit he was getting pretty good. Mickey had teased him too, but Ian also caught the soft and admiring look he got when Ian was playing some songs in bed. Ian really figured it could also be because he usually did it naked, but he liked to believe it was his playing.   
  
    They had been sitting in the Alibi one afternoon when Kev was complaining about all the competition bars popping up around their area, and V kept arguing that they needed some live entertainment. Mickey was finally okay with them being seen in public together, only as friends obviously, so Ian was there to hear Mickey suggest Ian to play there. Ian had been shocked, but Kev requested to hear him play. The next day, he had technically auditioned for Kev and V, who’d loved it and asked him to come in every Friday night.   
  
    It had been a month since he’d started doing gigs and it was bringing some more people in — not many, but some. He loved it, though, and he got paid a little by Kev so it was worth it. It cleared his head, and he mainly did shortened covers so it wasn’t too much to think about.   
  
    As he stood there, starting a new song, all he thought about was Mickey.   
  
‘ _Bullies stand up, losers sit down_  
 _Everybody know I'm a king, without a crown_  
 _And the cut on your heart, mark on your face_  
 _Never should've came here in the fucking first place_  
 _I hate you and you hate me_  
 _Such a hateful family_  
 _And I could tell some lies to you_  
 _At the dinner I had to suffer through_  
 _Like I am gonna try again_  
 _To stop these drugs and change my friends_  
 _To try to make all the amends_  
 _For all the shit I never said_  
 _You realised you gotta change_  
 _You acted bad, you misbehaved_  
 _You got your way so have your way_  
 _Got your way so have your way’_  
  
    He also thought about himself and thought maybe he was being too harsh on Mickey. Being out in the Southside was still hard — Terry or no Terry. He shook his head as he stumbled a little at his words, trying to focus, but he could only think that he wasn’t asking Mickey to come out, he was just asking him to be together properly. That wasn’t too much to ask, was it?   
  
_‘The farther I can reach_  
 _I'm such a fucking outlaw_  
 _There's blood inside the leech_  
 _For every sin and god fall_  
 _The fucking garden eats_  
 _All of the fucking good ones_  
 _And I could never sleep_  
 _Because the night is so fun’_   
  
    And of course, at that moment is when Mickey Milkovich walked into the bar. He knew Ian’d be there. After all, he told him. The question was: was he there to see Ian, or drink to forget about him? Ian shook his head again, trying to focus on the song again. He felt Mickey staring at him from where he was stopped at the back of the bar, but he refused to look at him.   
  
_‘I hate you and you hate me_  
 _Such a hateful family_  
 _And I could tell some lies to you_  
 _At the dinner I had to suffer through_  
 _Like go on, get 'em, sister go_  
 _I can't do this shit alone_  
 _I came from a broken home_  
 _So look at all my broken bones_  
 _Count me in but count me out_  
 _I know what this is about_  
 _I'm the next, I'll get in line_  
 _Just let me have my fucking time…’_   
  
    As he finally looked up, blinking at the pair of blue eyes staring back at him, Ian faded off. The cover was cut off there as he decided to sing a new song — the one he’d been trying to perfect all those months ago. It was a song that always reminded him of he and Mickey, and it was really perfect to describe how he felt. He just hoped Mickey would listen.   
  
    He waited until the clapping of the few people in the crowd slowed down, clearing his throat and looking into Mickey’s eyes again. ‘I, uh, I’m gonna sing something that’s…I mean, I didn’t write it, but it means a lot to me. Kinda reminds me of how I…I mean, how we all feel…Unrequited love and all that…’   
  
    When Mickey’s eyes widened at that word, Ian averted his eyes, not wanting to see the look of horror sure to be there. Instead, he just lowered his gaze to his guitar and started playing. This one was more upbeat, so as soon as he started playing, his family and a few others shouted out their encouragement. A few were even standing in the middle of the bar and dancing. This immediately brought up Ian’s energy as he played, not even singing yet. Carl was at the bar, banging his hands down on it harshly for makeshift drumming along to the song, making Ian grin a little. Carl had been bugging him to start a band, letting him be drums, obviously.   
  
    Finally came the moment to start singing, and, Jesus, did Ian start belting it. All the emotions coming out of him like never before.   
  
_‘I don't wanna die or fade away_  
 _I just wanna be someone_  
 _I just wanna be someone_  
 _Dive and disappear without a trace_  
 _I just wanna be someone_  
 _Well, doesn't everyone?_  
 _And if you feel the great dividing_  
 _I wanna be the one you're guiding_  
 _'Cause I believe that you could lead the way_  
  
 _I just wanna be somebody to someone, oh_  
 _I wanna be somebody to someone, oh_  
 _I never had nobody and no road home_  
 _I wanna be somebody to someone_  
  
 _And if the sun's upset and the sky goes cold_  
 _Then if the clouds get heavy and start to fall_  
 _I really need somebody to call my own_  
 _I wanna be somebody to someone_  
 _Someone to you…’_   
  
He decided to cut down the chorus because he could see Mickey getting shifty. He wasn’t sure what his reaction was, but he wanted to hurry up and get this shit out in the open as fast as he could. Raising his voice as Mickey turned to face the bar, he continued, staring at the side of his face and telling him everything he’d ever wanted to.   
  
_‘I don't even need to change the world_  
 _I'll make the moon shine just for your view_  
 _I'll make the starlight circle the room_  
 _And if you feel like night is falling_  
 _I wanna be the one you're calling_  
 _'Cause I believe that you could lead the way_  
  
 _I just wanna be somebody to someone, oh_  
 _I wanna be somebody to someone, oh_  
 _I never had nobody and no road home_  
 _I wanna be somebody to someone_  
  
 _And if the sun's upset and the sky goes cold_  
 _Then if the clouds get heavy and start to fall_  
 _I really need somebody to call my own_  
 _I wanna be somebody to someone_  
 _Someone to you…’_   
  
If he weren’t belting out his feelings right now, this would be a crazy adrenaline rush anyway. People were shouting along, dancing, clapping and thumping their feet. Lip had turned up his amp and mic to crazy volumes, and Carl had been given a mic pointed at his hands hitting the bar. It was like a makeshift concert in the shitty bar in the Southside — and it was starring him.   
  
_‘The kingdom come, the rise, the fall_  
 _The setting sun above it all_  
 _I just wanna be somebody to you_  
  
 _I just wanna be somebody to someone, oh_  
 _I wanna be somebody to someone, oh_  
 _I never had nobody and no road home_  
 _I wanna be somebody to someone—’_   
  
He cut off as Mickey finally broke and stood up sharply, turning to leave. Unable to watch him go, Ian jumped off the stage, pushing through the crowd. A few people stopped singing, but others continued anyway, barely noticing Ian was gone. It was amazing, even if he was desperately chasing after Mickey yet again, at least he was doing it along to what he thought of as their song.   
  
_‘And if the sun's upset and the sky goes cold_  
 _Then if the clouds get heavy and start to fall_  
 _I really need somebody to call my own_  
 _I wanna be somebody to someone_  
 _Someone to you_  
 _Someone to you_  
 _Someone to you_  
 _Someone to you!’_   
  
    ‘Mickey!’ Ian shouted as he pushed out the door and grabbed Mickey’s elbow, pulling him back as the door to the Alibi swung shut behind them.   
  
    To his utter surprise, Mickey sniffed, rubbing at his eye as he faced him. ‘You should get back in there, Gallagher. Adoring fans are waiting. Who knows — you might even get laid.’   
  
    And, God, could Ian really smack him right now. ‘What the fuck is this fucking other people shit you’re on about at the moment? Seriously, what’s wrong with you?’   
  
    ‘Because I can’t fuckin do this!’ Mickey shouted.   
  
    ‘What?!’ Ian shouted back, not really sure what “ _this_ ” was and why it was so huge.   
  
    Mickey gestured to the bar. ‘This — fuckin’ grand gestures and _love_ and shit. I mean, fuck love, man what did it ever do for me? It killed my mom and got you hurt and got me fuckin’ raped!’ Once the words were out of his mouth, Mickey’s eyes widened and he yanked his arm from Ian’s touch. ‘I can’t do that again.’   
  
    ‘Mickey…’ Ian breathed, feeling his chest ache and heart crack. ‘I know it hasn’t gotten us any good shit, but I love you, okay? I do. And no one can fuck that up again. Your piece of shit father is gone — he can’t hurt you anymore. I’ll do whatever you want here…You’re in total control when it comes to how slow or fast we take this…I just. I need to know it’s more, that it’ll be more, eventually. I’m not asking you to tell anyone, just me.’   
  
    Mickey sniffed again, wiping at his eyes before grabbing Ian’s arm and dragging him into a secluded alley. He shoved him against the wall and pressed his lips against Ian’s.   
  
    Ian pulled away, heart pounding. ‘No, we have to talk — You’re upset—’   
  
    ‘Oh, shut the fuck up right now,’ Mickey hissed. ‘Please.’ His voice softened, eyes following. ‘Please. Just listen, okay? I…I can’t say it.’   
  
    Ian’s heart broke even more, but at least Mickey had told him now. They were done; Ian would have to move on. He nodded and began to pull away, only Mickey pulled him back and against the wall again.   
  
    ‘That’s not what I meant, you dramatic dickhead,’ Mickey snapped. ‘I can’t say what you said, but I do have something to say…’ Ian waited patiently, secretly glad this wasn’t the end of them, but not knowing if he wanted to hear what Mickey was about to say. Mickey shut his eyes, leaning so close to Ian his breath fluttered across Ian’s lips. ‘You are.’   
  
    Ian blinked, not really sure what to make of that. ‘I am…what?’   
  
    ‘Someone to me,’ Mickey breathed, before kissing him again, even deeper this time.   
  
    And, this time, Ian responded just as deeply.

**Author's Note:**

> Do me a favour, guys! I wanna work on finishing up a WIP, but I can't choose which one to go first! Can anyone who reads my other stuff please suggest one of them! (I think I am going to wrap up the Riley/Yev fic first though). 
> 
> Songs:   
> 1\. Outlaw by McCafferty (one of my favourite bands - I feel like they have a real Gallagher vibe too for some reason)   
> 2\. Someone to You by BANNER


End file.
